a home?

I am not old and mature enough to be a homeowner….



Grace, staring in my face tonight
What do i do? I turn my back on You,
And try to take what i think You owe.
I forfeit my heritage, squander my inheritance
Feast in the filth of pigs, and love every minute
But now i want to go back home
I dont need Your rings or robes.
All that i need is Your grace

Why am i begging for what You gave me?
Why would You die if not to save me?
Why do i cry out, and call You a liar now?
Take my shame and teach me what it means to be saved.

Home, its where i long to be tonight.
Safe in Your arms again. Free from the shame of sin,
To walk with You hand in hand
But here i go again
Back to this dirty place, forsaking You to Your face
Then crying out for Your grace.

I have to believe that You knew what You were doing when You died on the Tree
I have to believe that You knew what You were getting into when You offered Your grace to me
You knew all Id say, how Id stray away, all i would do before running back to You
And begging for grace that You already gave.
So put me in my place and show me that im saved.

Poor Rich Folk

How to relate

I had a thought today.

I was reading some of Galatians.  “1:10 Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God?  Or am I trying to please men?”   “1:6-7 I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you by the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel–which is really no gospel at all.  Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ”.

It’s so interesting to me how easy it is for the gospel to be perverted, specifically in the area of the law/works.  We try to earn our salvation instead of just accepting grace.

Of course it’s easy for the devil to convince us of that!  Of course!  That’s how we relate to one another!  Often we require that people behave a certain way or have certain characteristics in order for us to love them.  Although simplistic in my realization (not attempting to oversimplify our interactions into black and white completely), I think we should shun this in theory.  We attempt to relate to God in the ways that we relate to one another.  And we shouldn’t!  Why, instead, do we not learn to relate to God correctly…the way he wants us to…and use that as our rule for relating to one another?

I know it isn’t that simple.  But I just had the thought today.  The follow-up thought to that is…how do you put that into practice while still having standards for behavior, not tolerating mistreatment, knowing that character is important, and realizing we are still responsible for our behavior and treatment of people?  I don’t know the answer to that.

hug a tree?

I was asked the other day to answer some questions about caring for God’s creation.  I thought for a couple minutes about them before I answered, mostly because my answers were on camera, and one of my biggest fears is appearing foolish in front of other people, right?  But when I answered them, I felt like I wasn’t completely honest about how I really feel.  So I thought I might answer them again.

When I think about God’s creation, what brings me joy?

Since I don’t hear from God directly, His creation has been the primary way he’s spoken to me over the course of my life.  I am fascinated by order (even though I know I’m often not truly orderly) and there’s nothing that appears more deliberate to me than the universe.  It’s so complex.  There’s no way any of it could be accidental or coincidence, and if God is consistent, than I can only assume that all the other things HE does are neither accidental or coincidence.  Also, complex can be loosely extrapolated to BIG.  GOD IS BIG.  That fact has given me so much comfort over the years.  If He can create a world that turns on an axis, pointed at the perfect angle, while simultaneously rotating around the sun….so I know when to sleep and when to eat and when to harvest my crops (don’t be fooled, I don’t have any crops), then He can surely take care of me.   All of my concerns are certainly fixable and not a difficulty for HIM.  So…because I know He is able and I know He is deliberate, I take heart even though I don’t hear Him and don’t understand sometimes.  That brings me joy.

What hope do I have for the church in terms of loving God’s creation?

My real hope is that the church can use caring for the environment as a way to reach out to people that don’t love Jesus.  The issue of the planet is one that’s important to people who don’t know God, and I can very much understand why.  If a person doesn’t believe in a higher power, than this world is all he or she has.  Certainly being protective of that is understandable.  It seems to me that being careless with the place we live could come off as a pinch self centered and borderline careless.  If we show people that we love this place and understand it’s importance, but manage to convey to them that there are things more important still…then we have succeeded.  It’s a chance to show people the heart of Jesus.  A Jesus who wouldn’t create something and then abandon it.  A Jesus who entrusted us with something good and beautiful, that demonstrates who He is and how He functions.   It seems to me that taking care of somethin, being responsible even, demonstrates respect for the one who gave that responsibility.  People will see how much we love Him and wonder why.

sincere rage

Today I felt rage. Real rage.

I’m sort of sad that I actually allow things make my blood pressure rise as much as it did today.

I decided, after thinking about the situation, that a lot of my anger stems from lack of communication. Today, I was not understood and was definitely not understanding what the other person wanted either. I then thought that my feelings are more prevalent than I originally thought. How much anger do we feel because we think other people are refusing to listen and refusing to acknowledge our feeling or ideas? It seems so simple…and so easy to fix. As I’ve considered this, however, I realized that it isn’t easy to fix at all…and that’s because I don’t control other people. I can’t make them truly hear me and understand my feelings behind things at the same time.

At the end of the day, I’ve come to the conclusion that I should just GET PISSED…or not.

I don’t want to get that angry that easily. maybe pray for me…that my rage would be righteous in nature rather than just ridiculous.

odes to coffee

For someone who needs to understand why we’re friends.

An Ode to Coffee.

O noble cup of velvet brew!
We thank each passing day for you,
If not for you our days would be
sad, and spent in drinking tea!

Thou art the friend of workers free,
who have no time for frippery
like dainty sips from china cups
with buttered scones and silly sops.

It’s-drink-and-get-to-work with you,
as should be with the perfect brew.
With sleeves rolled up on muscled arms,
no fop can claim to know your charms.

no pish-tosh posing, pinkies raised
and just for that, the lord be praised!
No “Twist of lemon? Sugar? Two?”
You are a self-respecting brew!

From roasted beans you are conceived,
not fragile, shriveled up old leaves
the difference is for all to see,
there is no robustness in tea!

To Chamomile, the odes they sing,
Lapsang Souchong and Darjeeling,
Earl grey, Assam and what have you,
I’ll stick to my caffeine, thank you!

They call it ‘liquid gold‘ sometimes
for ignorance is not a crime
Forgive them! For they know not what,
they miss, reaching for a tea pot.

What philistines they are who say,
that the cup that cheers is full of tea.
Tea, that so insipid broth!
that does not banish venal sloth.

Tea does not bubble busily
but steeps for all eternity,
And when it’s done what do you get?
Flavoured water, lukewarm yet!

The scent of coffee reaches out,
it’s tendrils from the bubbling spout
And wafts through home and hearth to bring
warmth, and make the taste-buds sing

O font of joy! O blessed bean!
O catalyst to dopamine!
No day shall pass when I shall not,
gaze fondly at that bubbling pot.

I pour myself a mug of you,
O coffee, truly wondrous brew!
Tea cannot stand up next to thee,
O steaming mug of black coffee!

Ode to Coffee

O! coffee, where art thou
When I need thee now?
In thy many flavoured blends
A hot cup would be godsend.

I cannot keep awake
Without a short coffee-break.
With thy life-giving aroma
Save me from going into a coma.

Java, Colombian or French Roast
Thy every flavour, I will toast.
To the end thy loyal slave
Three cups a day I will always crave.

(Inspired by a very sleepy seminar)

Please quote if you wish, but don’t forget to cite the source as Ranjit Nair’s limericks

It’s amazing the things you’ll tell people if they care enough to ask. I was recently asked for a list of things I couldn’t live without, and I came up with lots of superficial, sort of cursory, things. Nature, my computer, Diet Mountain Dew, my car…the list of “THINGS” could go on and on. And that was the intention of the question, about things rather than people. I found myself thinking about what I should put on the list as I formed it, and that’s exactly what came out of me: things I thought might be funny, items I use frequently, or things I think should be important to me. I had this mini-revelation about what is really important to me at the moment as I was thinking about times in my day that I look forward to. The thing I have been dwelling on with anticipation lately is praying with my roommate. We have been talking to Jesus together on a semi-regular basis. And it’s been really wonderful for me. I find myself more naturally leaning toward that as a response to what’s going on, as opposed to just trying to find a solution (which is definitely my natural tendency). I don’t know why I didn’t add that to my list of things I can’t live without because that is the true case, and I feel it more and more acutely each day. It’s just good. It makes me feel like my life is changing a pinch from a slightly minor tendency to major, from a slightly gray tendency to bright, from foggy to clear.

white elephant why…..

As the holiday season is starting, I am reminded of the many reasons that I love this time of year. Snow, presents, not sweating every time I walk outside, using my 4 wheel drive, eating cookies, and trying to find gifts perfect for each individual that I love. But here’s the thing….one of my dear dear friends once told me that giving gifts when forced (such as at christmas) is not natural. There’s nothing unforced about a white elephant gift exchange..and I have been invited to at least 4 this year, and I’m sure more opportunities will arise. I think attending one such party could potentially be entertaining, especially with people I’m close to. I really wish, however, that there were more entertaining holiday traditions we could visit for no other reason than just mixing it up a bit. If anyone has any ideas, please let me know. I’m afraid that I don’t have too many ceramic chickens, dead goldfish in candle gelatin, live lobsters, chuck norris autobiographies, or record collections laying around my house to give out….I’d give the door that fell off my house if I could wrap it.

i love my roomate…

…you should get to know her. and i would like to get to know you. that’s what i’m here. also, i have a cat who is from the pits of hell.